Steven Raucher's World Tour
2001-07-05 in Vientiane, Laos
Return to the other side
I was so close. We had made it to Vientiane, only a day or two from Vietnam. What could possibly go wrong? Well if one is ever in doubt, always start with your tyres.
Punctures are for cissy�s, real men get PPM faults. What does PPM mean? Allow me to explain. PPM means Parts Per Million, ie the accepted statistical probability that a product will fail. In my case I happened to be riding a brand new Michelin T66 that was made by the devil himself. I had acquired 2 punctures in 2 days in Laos, this was acceptable, but who would think that the next thing one would see would be the entire wall of my rear tyre bubbling and fit to explode? I breathed long and hard (my grandfather always told me to count to ten) then I did the sensible thing, I ripped the Michelin sticker off my pannier and danced a jig on it. One has to get one�s priorities right, no? That done, I surgically inserted plugs into the bubbles in order to strengthen them and pointed the bike towards good ol� Bangkok. Ever get the feeling you�re driving in circles?
We crossed the Friendship Bridge over the mekong and smiled hi at the shiny new roads. At least we had company, the Brit Bikers were heading that way and I needed to follow someone at a leisurely pace, I can�t be trusted keep to the speed limit left to my own devices. And let�s face it: Richard rides like a girl! (Ladies I mean no disrespect.)
Speaking of ladies, somewhere in Thailand, I can�t remember where, we stopped at the end of our first day. The hotel seemed nice enough, but there was definitely something wrong in the bar/restaurant, nothing we could see just a funny feeling that�s all. It was only upon returning to the restaurant after hitting the showers that it hit us. We were in a dodgy hostess bar on the side of a busy highway. Life can be cruel. (see picture)
I think it is in �Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance� that the idea of running out of petrol just cos you�re bored is mention (it could be Jupiter�s Travels), anyway, we did the next best thing. In Bangkok there is a lot traffic and they have these magnificent flyovers which bypass all the traffic straight into the heart of the city. Here�s the catch: no motorbikes! Can you believe the cheek? Needless to say the temptation was far too great, I took the onramp and headed for the sky. After breezing through the first toll booth we were flagged down by a Policeman who was obviously wearing his kid brothers trousers � the full CHIPS look, if anyone remembers them. We were then made to wait until we could be properly escorted off the flyover. Our escort turned out to be the Thai equivalent of an English milk float, except it was orange and had flashing lights. Kind of a cross between doge �em cars and tow trucks. No sooner had we left the flyover when I stupidly took a wrong turn and we found ourselves in a Mexican Standoff with another mounted cop at yet another onramp to the same flyover. This time he took it upon himself to make us do a U-turn and drive into the oncoming traffic back to the onramp, our very own offramp. Our safety was never in question as the officer had a set of flashing lights of his own, how kind.
The highlight of this day was almost getting a full refund on my rear tyre and then the same dealer turning up with a brand new set of front and rear Bridgestone Trailwinds for me. This little detour wasn�t over yet. My front fork had sprung a leak and my rear shock had learned to breakdance, nothing Dynamic Motors couldn�t fix. We then spent an extra 2 days waiting for new Laos visas (as we now had to cross Laos again to get to Vietnam).
Once our paperwork was in order Ariella and I hopped on the bike and blasted our way to the Thai-Laos border at Savannakhet.
 The Friendship Bridge over the Mekong River |
 I'll have a gallon of super and a milkshake, Laos filling stations/soda fountain look alikes |
 Children sorting chilli at the roadside |
 Whatever you do - don't look down. stuck in a hostess bar. |
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